Cap'n

Aye aye, cap'n!

“Uh, I think we should do, uh, what you want to do, Cap'n. Cap'n's choice.” “I'm not asking you to kiss my ass. Come on. No wrong answers.” “Uh, okay. We could do evasive maneuver eighty... eight...?” “Is he (bleep)ing serious?” “That was the wrong answer!” “I meant 84.” “In this situation? Are you crazy?” “Mariner!” “Have you not been paying attention? That could get us killed.”

“If you really feel like you need a special ending to this, you have about an hour to make it hap'n, cap'n.” “Actually, now, about a half hour.”

The cynical assert that Cap'ns Edwards and Felix and the rest of them don't know a bull whale when they see one, and that the chances are that Father Whale is the missing member of the family.

HE WAS a fine pirate, in the best piratical tradition, and stood outside our local toy library.

Javier Bardem brings an air of mouldering chorizo to this guest-villain role, but the screenplay doesn’t develop the enmity so much as jetski around it, stirring up noisy turbulence – doubtless sensing that the fanbase isn’t here for intricate yarn-spinning, rather the long-awaited/shruggingly tolerated return of Cap’n Jack.