Mommy

If you break the clock again, you'll catch it from Mommy.

You helped Mommy?

Mommy, where's my booger?

I gave it to my mommy.

I helped Mommy in the kitchen.

Mommy, may I go swimming?

Mommy, I want you to buy me a pomegranate!

Mommy, I want you to buy me a grenade!

Mommy, I want you to buy me a garnet!

Mommy, why don't I have an uncle with a beard?

The only bad-karma-reducing sposie on the market is a new line of biodegradable (meaning here "useless") sposie that won't last through the lightest of baby pees and will force you to change baby approximately once every thirty seconds, thereby completely undoing any so-called karma reduction. Only bad mommies use sposies.

They will never part even though in mommy's heart she wishes daddy would leave forever. One grief-some January 25 mommy rested never to return for her and daddy went on a walk. “Where is mommy”, said baby but daddy couldn't talk.

My girlfriend loves it when I call her mommy.

She is the mommiest of mommies.

I am smack-dab in the middle of the mommiest years of my life. There are toys strewn across my once-pristine floors, goldfish crackers in my couch cushions, and empty juice boxes in my car.

I wish Mommy and Daddy didn't argue so much.