Alumnuses

2 No more for us yon tuneful bell shall ring for morning prayers, / No more to long Biennial we’ll mount you attic stairs; / Our recitations all are passed—Alumnuses you know, / We’ll swell the praises long and loud of Alma Mater O— / Oh! Alma Mater O, &c.

This gentleman, whom you will immediately recognize as one of our oldest Alumnuses, is Mr. A. Squirrel who will accept a peanut from a Columbia professor of higher mathematics as quickly as he will from a Freshman, which shows that he gets along pretty well as far as being a squirrel goes, but hasn’t much sense otherwise.

BEHOLD—ye oldest and most faithfulest of the alumnuses.

Prototypical rehabilitation equipment produced by alumnuses of Technical School for Workers at Bielsko-Biała

And if he accepts any favors, large or small, from “overzealous alumnuses,” he runs the risk of seeing his school put on probation, receiving sanctions, or even getting the “death penalty,” which means no football program for two years—that thing SMU received in 1987.