Bemoustached

On entering a modern drug store you walk boldly up to the bemoustached and bejewelled clerk, and, if you know your business, and it is a temperaance^([sic]) town, you wink at the fellow and say something about malaria.

Van Santen is a bemoustached, and, at times, self-effacing candidate, who articulates forceful positions, and then smiles as if amazed that he could say such a thing.

What would my life become if I stopped right now, in mid-shave, and walked off into the world bemoustached?