Briefies

[…] Mary’s briefies appeared to have been sprayed on, and her halter too.

A whirlwind program loomed before me; I must hire a dinner coat, reserve a table at the Cocoanut Grove, have my teeth capped and my briefies monogrammed—in short, demonstrate that I was as suave a coxcomb as Greg Bautzer or Gene Markey.

The lamentably, obnoxiously, insufferably tasteless broadcast fiend Howard Stern used to feature a beauty contest on his short-lived late, late, late-night TV show. He required his contestants to do vile, vulgar things like munch bananas and wrestle with potbellied men (talent?), then line up in the briefest of briefies and answer suggestive questions.