Clutchy

You're triangulated when a clutchy, cloying kissy-poo couple uses you like a decorative backdrop to their perpetual prom night, when you're just supposed to sit there like a sexless old aunt and say, "Oh, you two."

It is unavoidable that culture and biology dance together, sometimes in a graceful and seamless tango and at other times a clutchy foxtrot, stepping on each other's toes.