Embarrassingness

[…] and without the least show of embarrassment, or, to be just, of embarrassingness, he advanced to the bedside and held out his hand.

Philosophers use the word quale to describe the "ringyness" of the experience of a bell, the redness of the experience of red, the embarrassingness of an experience of embarrassment, and so forth.

Unintellectual he may be, but Gately's reactions to the maudlin embarrassingness and awfulness of AA's precepts sound very much like Wallace's in “An Ex-Resident's Story,” and for this reader they provide the realest and most beautiful and exact account of the author's own experiences.