Half cut

He had the girl's head on his shoulder but she was half cut and in her seventh heaven, so he just went on talking to me, proud of his English, you see.

Drink up thy zider, drink up thy zider, For tonight we'll merry be. We'll knock the milk churns over and roll 'em in the clover, for the corn's half cut and so be we!

Lucie Miller always loved Christmas back home in Blackpool. Her Mum running a still-frozen turkey under the hot tap at ten. Great-Grandma Miller half-cut on cooking sherry by eleven. Her Dad and her uncle arguing hammer and tongs about who was the best James Bond all through dinner.

You think: "That old fella's woken up still half-cut and put on his girlfriend's shoes by mistake."