Snotsicle

I gathered the photo of Dan Withey's 40-yard Wasatch contrail, the vintage travel poster of a jaunty Brit taking trains to the Alps, and a 1979 magazine cover of a bearded dude dangling a two-inch frozen snotsicle, and stuffed them in a closet.

With our snotsicles and waxy cheeks, our breaths' plumes and hulking silhouettes, we may look like members of Scott's last expedition.

"Got it. Here's the deal. Go take a shower. Not a hot one, but not chilly enough to give you a snotsicle. Nobody wants to see that."