Tossicated

The lachrymose coal-heaver, with the bit of rusty crape round his greasy hat, whose amiable wife a week since was discovered dead drunk, is treating his hopeful son, the charity boy, to a brimming glass of his only luxury ; and, with difficulty attempting to keep his perpendicular, is deploring the loss of his tender spouse, while recommending the fuddled youth never to get ' tossicated.'

"Ye see, my Lady, I was tossicated and unasy on account of the heat; and whin I did get a wink, the first thing I saw was a pale pink gauze scarve like, very pale and very purty.

"Well, it wanted a couple of months of the year all out," said Tom, "but I knew the poor thing was tossicated in her mind, so I didn't bother her about the mistake she was making; but ses I: “'Indeed, then, it is, an' why wouldn't I?..."