Vuvuzelist

This is the distinguishing feature of the accomplished vuvuzelist. The vuvuzela blower lives by one golden rule: never stop blowing.

Not having been able to test it in more extreme conditions, we're not sure how well it would cope in, say, a stadium full of vuvuzelists - but it should hopefully lead to a good deal less shouting into the mobile on the train.

Demand from would-be vuvuzelists out there in Couch Potato Land is now outstripping supply, according to analysts of the short-life-cycle consumer products industry.