Wasm

Progress is a PLAStic bag; / Come stick in your head and what AILS you will gag. / Gasping the BLUE-in-the-face blues. / When our propaganda spasms turn your isms into wasms, / We'll bag the earth in a PLAStic globe and disconnect your frontal lobe / With our gadget-pop Agitprop air-jet-hop think-no-more blues.

The nice thing about an ism, someone once observed, is how quickly it becomes a wasm. Some musical wasms – academic-wasm, for example, and its dependent varieties of modern-wasm and Serial-wasm – continue to linger on artificial life support, though, and continue to threaten the increasingly fragile classical ecosystem.

Dwight Eisenhower, a president not particularly remembered for his wit, once remarked that "all isms are wasms." He was presumably referring, rather presciently, to the largely forgotten isms that were once perceived as a threat to truth, justice, and the American way: Marxism, socialism, communism.