Merkin

... his penis squashed invisible under a flesh-colored leather jockstrap, over which he wears a false cunt and merkin of sable both handcrafted in Berlin by the notorious Mme. Ophir, the mock labia and bright purple clitoris molded of — Madame had been abject, pleading shortage — synthetic rubber and Mipolam, the new polyvinyl chloride...

Source: wiktionary

Well, I seem to recall Tori and Patrick being seen together, and a reference in People comes to mind, with a photo attached. I'm not for sure that Patrick is completely gay, but he's at least bi according to a person I know with first hand experience. Perhaps we have a dual merkin-beard relationship here, eh?

Source: wiktionary

For all you non-'merkins: Most 'merkins are idiots, just like the residents of your country. See, most people are idiots. We just have idiots with a higher average income than you do, so they can afford to be better cretins.

Source: wiktionary

It is, unfortunately, an all-to-common assumption -- sort of like assuming that all posters here are 'merkins. Perhaps it's best to assume that all posters are vertebrates (I was going to type primates, but one of my neutered cats sent a post awhile^([sic]) back).

Source: wiktionary