Dinkle

"On the morning of April Fools' Day 2005, I woke up in a sexual addiction treatment centre in a suburb of Philadelphia. As I limped out of the drab dog's bed in which I was expected to sleep for the next 30 wankless nights, I observed the previous incumbent had left a thread of dental floss by the pillow - most likely as a noose for his poor, famished dinkle."