Ak

Once every year, on Budding Day, when the trees put forth their new buds, Necile held the Golden Chalice of Ak to the lips of the Queen, who drank therefrom to the prosperity of the Forest.

Ak is the Master Woodsman of the world; he sees everything, and knows more than the sons of men.

"We live so happily, my fair ones, in our forest glades," said Ak, stroking his grizzled beard thoughtfully, "that we know nothing of the sorrow and misery that fall to the lot of those poor mortals who inhabit the open spaces of the earth."

"And what did you do, Ak?" asked the Queen, breathlessly.

She had decided to see with her own eyes this infant Ak had told of, for she had never yet beheld a child of man.

Ak, as was his habit when in thought, stroked his grizzled beard slowly.

"Childhood is the time of man's greatest content," said Ak. "'Tis during these years of innocent pleasure that the little ones are most free from care."

Which is better, an AK47 or an M16?

Cops got AKs, y'all only got pumps, that shit's just dumb.