Beturtlenecked

Last week, Thomas had sent a professional photographer to my apartment: Randall Knapp, a solemn, beturtlenecked fellow […]

Personally, I like to imagine him, beturtlenecked and in jeans—perhaps with fuzzy bunny slippers replacing his usual sneakers—giving a keynote presentation to his friends and family, updating them on the status of Steve over the last quarter, and explaining to them all the new features that come with turning 54 ("And then your knees just give out—boom.")

[…] and on the steps are three fawning co-eds with flowers in their hair, ogling a mustachioed beturtlenecked artiste, […]