Ike

Ike doesn't seem to be up to the mark today.

When it comes to houses, Ike prefers Victorians over colonials.

My name is Martin—James Briggs Martin—but almost everybody calls me Tallow, because once when I was younger I saw old Uncle Ike Bond rubbing tallow on his boots to shine them, and then hurried home and fixed mine up with the stub of a candle and went to school.

Everybody likes Ike—for president.