Minibar

Now there's a minibar where my liver was.

Print on the wall, earth tones on the bed, data port on the phone, fifty-five channels on the TV, including E! and Bravo: the modern secular hotel in perfect replica, except for the fact that there's no Spankavision and no minibar.

"Something that's playful entices guests and loosens the scene and makes things relaxed," said Scott Engelman, the director of food and beverage at the Hotel Victor, in Miami Beach, which is scheduled to open on Wednesday and will include in its minibar offerings the Passion Pleasure, a box the size of a deck of cards that holds two condoms, alcohol-free wipes, lubricant and performance gel that Mr. Engelman describes as "a cream version of Viagra."

“When I’m exhausted and thirsty, I don’t want to have to leave my room to go get water because there’s no minibar. That’s one of my biggest rants,” he said. (Dr. Robson confirmed that minibars are, in fact, becoming extinct. “They take up space and energy and they require a lot of labor to maintain,” she said.)