Noob

"Dima?!" Al-Sayib was so shocked that he dropped his Fanta on his computer, thereby ruining his noob hunt. "Dima?! Is that really you?!"

Once a noob, always a noob.

"Dude, there's a guy running naked around our building! What's up with that?!" "Eh, just another 'lucky' noob we pwn'd today. If he wasn't, he would've been doin' it downtown at noon."

Verily, a noob was pwn'd and he was pwn'd hard.

In a far, far away universe where whatever is visualized becomes real, a noob tried to visualize a four dimensional object only to end up visualizing an object with an infinite number of dimensions that sent our entire existence into disarray thereby ending the universe as we know it.

A noob once met Betty and while desperately trying hard not to get killed, ended up killing himself.

Christopher Columbus's happy meal toy was a limited edition clumsy noob waiter toy that whenever is set to walk, trips and falls on its face.

After torturing a fortune-teller by tickling him to death for several hours, Christopher Columbus placed the noob toy in a treasure chest with the inscription: "To the great pirate of the future Al-Sayib: Noobs always deserve it."

Soon Christopher Columbus got bored watching the noob toy getting repeatedly self-pwned; he then decided to make a fortune-teller advise him on what to do with such a pointless toy.

"Dima..." Al-Sayib sighed. "How much is this phone call costing you? I bet you it's more than 99 kopeks, noob..."