Undifferent

It's not a big deal, just kind of my way of saying I'm different and I'm gonna stay different and you're not going to make me undifferent.

The strict training of Zen priests, the daily physical chores, the undifferent wrestling with koans, the long hours of sitting in meditation, and the special intensive periods of exercise are all directed toward this end.

"No," said Heidi. "Not that way. That was me, trying to be different. He was as undifferent as you can get, but he was somebody else's undifferent. I just had this feeling that I could step into somebody else's shoes. […]"