Wotsit

Nah, I reckon it's all one of those mass testeria thingies, where someone starts saying they're not seeing owt, and then afore you know it we've lost the wotsit.

Lucy rolls her eyes as she chews the life out of a Wotsit.

Papay is a long, thin island. In map form, it looks a bit like a Wotsit, or an old man with a walking-stick, vomiting.

He put a picture up of him and this girl and I can tell it’s his girlfriend by the comments. Then I saw another one of them out for a meal and I started looking at hers and I saw LOADS of pictures of Mitch on there. She’s very orange though. She looks like a Wotsit with hair. But she’s not ugly, and I think that’s what hurts the most.

“Guess I owe you a thanks then?” / “One of these will do.” She plucked a Wotsit out. “So what’s your plan. Other than emergency crisps.” She knew me too well.

Repeat the experiment with a marshmallow and a Wotsit.

You know Donald Trump, right? Wobbly orange trumpet on legs? The answer to the question: ‘What would the offspring of a Wotsit and a dolphin look like?’ Yeah, that guy. Well, he also happens to be the 45th President of the United States of America.

Wheat Crunchies are a brilliant food that bridges the texture gap between a Wotsit and a bog-standard crisp.

As I crunched on a baked goat’s cheese and caramelised onion veg chip, I silently cursed myself for only stocking the posh hand-cooked ones. Deep inside, my heart longed for the sweet, dusty orange delight of a Wotsit.